I have come across this article by Rosemary Collins on The Establishment, which is well worth a read. It shares many insights on going undiagnosed as a child with Autism; one sentence stood out to me above all:

“I told him some things I can now recognize as outright lies: that a girl I barely spoke to was my best friend; that I “loved” Brownies, when in fact I found each meeting exhausting and overwhelming. Even at that young age I had learned to say these things, because they made adults happier than the truth did.”

As a girl on the Spectrum, how many of us repeated what we thought we were supposed to say? We didn’t believe these things, we just said them because everyone else said them; this was our culture. What is it about girls, and the boys that share our unique ASD characteristics (yes – they exist!), that makes us feel like we have to dissolve our individuality into the crowd?

I would love to read any thoughts about this, please feel free to leave a comment using the link below.

 

Featured image “Girl on a Bridge” courtesy of The Establishment site, 2016.
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4 thoughts on “Sharing: “Why I Wish I’d Been Diagnosed as a Child”

  1. Again, I read both yours and Tosemary’s words with a sense of unified understanding. But then all those horrid, confusing feelings come up and I want to sweep them under my carpet. I just don’t want to feel for that naive, sweet girl I was…and lost. It hurts too much. I am waiting for that person to enter my life and hold my hand as I face that huge lump under my carpet.

    I thought my obvious abuse as a child was the end of it. It isn’t. I am slowly learning that a huge chunk of my life is an ongoing string of humiliations, laughter and disgust. I have images, or snapshots, of faces who have looked at me with abhorrence. I didn’t know that is what their faces were expressing.

    One day, I might just sit still, look at all the sweet people of the world and cry.

    Like

  2. Hey, this is exactly how I feel so spot on. My individuality has faded into the crowd. I feel like my thoughts are not specifically from my own head but thoughts of what I believe others want me to think/say. I’d love it if we could talk some more as I’ve never met anyone else who experiences this.

    Like

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